one small voice

http://www.gojane.com/25783.html

http://www.gojane.com/26513.html

http://www.gojane.com/26515.html

i just got into marie digby.
and am very addicted to the song 'say it again'.
it is just one happy song!
i like 'miss invisible' as well.
i can relate to it on a personal level.
oh swell.

alas, my acting class ends tomorrow.
six short lessons.
:(
it was fun.
a little stressful,
but overall, fun.

hi there. don't think anyone will read this entry since my blog has been stagnant for too long.
well i was busy with school. having my holiday now, yipee. been busying myself with unimportant stuff, regrettably. - playing with my neighbour's kittens! i can just spend the whole day with them. worst still, mama cat delivered FIVE more kits today. i'll definitely be there to document their growth. those tiny little dearies.

i've been doing an acting course. it's so much fun. sadly it'll be ovah soon. just six short lessons. we are doing a scene from sweeny todd - a little priest. a duet. i'll be playing lovett. and i hatett it. haha. nah. kidding. but grace just invited me to perform this scene with her students at street fest. which is only two weeks away. it's pretty hasty, but a part of me believes it's a fun opportunity? i hope i can pull it off. there's so much to prepare! costumes! make-up? eww i'd hate to wear make-up...just. not. a. fan. without makeup my skin stays nice and healthy. but i digress, so how? will i lose my dignity, will someone care? should i? part of me thinks not. just...pray...

the weather is bad. dad fell really ill. i'm also somewhat under the weather. got two mouth ulcers! i haven't had ulcers in forever, really. and now they pop up.

so anyway. just a quick update. i really ain't prioritising. bro's been really hard on me to get a job but with all that is happening with my life it's not exactly easy to start.

Found a nice quote

"Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours."
  --  Dale Carnegie

having my one week study break now.

really not that interested in doing my projects.

feel like i should cry. cos i'm dragging my feet, and i shouldn't.

i think i'm just missing the momentum of school.

i have no where to turn.

i have no constant.

what should i do?

yeah i have a few friends.

but i know that they don't enjoy my neediness.

so i hold back.

this is the 3rd known time of something like this happening to me.

it's pretty hilarious.

my mom said i spoke to her on the phone this evening, but that would have been

impossible as i was asleep in my bed all that time.

and i have no recollection of it.

so we concluded that i was sleeptalking.

scary but true.

this was the conversation she claims.

(this was in the evening after work, she prolly presumed that i was on the way home from school)

her: melis, where are you?

me: i in mrt.

her: oh what stop?

me: train...train...train...eh...i fell asleep...don want to talk already...*hangs up*

lol. scary.

half a year ago i was feeling quite awesome on some level.

and i thought it was real.

maybe it was.

but today i ain't feeling so special.

reality check.

it wasn't real then.

maybe it was.

i dunno.

all i know is, i'm getting a lot of shiz from someone,

but if it were someone else, i don't think i would be shizzed on so much.

i was spoilt then, i guess.

Why do you think it is some people don't get along with you?

 

I think I tend to come across as rude, and I offend people unwittingly. I suspect it's due to my high-pitched voice. To people I sound like a brat. Someone else with a deeper voice can speak exactly like me and not offend. I think.

I have a very critical eye. I will never praise anyone unless I really mean it. And sometimes people ask me things like "How do I look", or something, and I honesty think they look bad, I don't know how to tactfully tell them a lie. And I will go "Erm...no comment" or "I dunno. I have different taste." Maybe that is why people don't like me.

Or well. Most people don't know I exist.

What do you most hate sharing with other people?

food. stationery. space.